Club hopping at the hospital. Heyyyyy
Jk.jk. I’m bored and can’t wait to go home!
LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING
THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS
rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT
IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.
i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN
I tried so hard not to reblog
This made me laugh so hard. Not a good thing to do after having your appendix removed but I highly enjoyed this
High Quality Blog
So midnight yesterday I had really bad stomach pains that I first thought was trapped gas. Tmi I know, but that was my first thought. I took some nexium and smoked some weed which helped a little bit but not too much. My boyfriend came home at around 4:30 and I made us some food. We ate at 5 but I was still in pain and it was just getting worse. I took some medicine to help go to the bathroom.
By 8 am the pain was so excruciating I was bawling my eyes out. I finally went to the bathroom but it didn’t help me out at all so I took some pepto hoping it will get rid of the indigestion. Again, still nothing helped. I even put my heating pad on and didn’t do anything. I called my doctor and got there by 9:25. I had stopped crying from the pain but I could still barely walk. When the doctor saw me she pressed down on my stomach and it hurt the worse on my right side. She had me walk around and noticed that I was hunched over. Which is why she sent me to the ER.
A few hours after being in the ER. I finally got a CATscan which revealed that I had mild appendicitis. The surgeon came down to talk to me and told me that since I was in such excruciating pain they were going to remove my appendix, even though the CATscan showed it as mild. I got put on antibiotics and by 4 pm I was rolled back to anesthesia and the appendectomy began shortly after. I was done by 6:30. That’s when I got rolled into my room where I have been ever since.
Boyfriend stayed the night with me and we cuddled in bed. We only slept about three hours. Then he left at like 7:45 this morning. It’s now 9:48 am and I’m still here. I called my mom to let her know I should be leaving this afternoon and I Ss gonna go to her house since boyfriend is going to be busy recording at the studio.
While talking to my mother, she informed me that the surgeon told her my appendix was far worse when they opened me up. I got lucky. If I hated waited any longer my appendix would’ve ruptured. So this is what I’ve been dealing with